I guess the impression I am going for is "I am someone to whom it is easy to impress ideas on in the form of small yellow text links" and, I believe this to be a bad thing.

Time for a serious look at my life I guess.

Oh did you guys hear about that really old guy last year and he scared off those teenagers that were threatening him by kicking one in the crotch?
That's... that's pretty sweet right?

I guess he's probably drinking somewhere now.

And um, I guess there's the new Batman coming out at some point...*
These are all valid news topics.

And um, since news is a little slow in terms of actual things that have happened, I found this picture of a turtle and it has two heads.

I hope it's still alive!

* Not in that way